Moving Forward

We are moving into our new house this weekend.  In today's volatile and tremulous economy I can't think of a better course of action than going several hundred thousand dollars into debt, sorry, further debt, but it's happening.  In the last ten years I've lived above people who lodged noise complaints against me while I was out of town, gone to war with a condo board, had towels stolen from shared laundry rooms and my door mat grabbed and pulled right under my door never to be seen or heard from again.  I checked the mail for a ransom note for weeks but nothing ever came.  Admittedly I've gotten a measure of revenge.  Leaving a fully decorated Christmas tree in a stair well, doing my best to earn that noise complaint posthumously, and never, EVER cleaning after moving out.  It's always been my opinion that the damage deposit is a down payment on the cleaning service that is inevitably going to be brought in anyways.

I won't miss feet banging on the ceiling, music pounding from below, weird smells in the hallways or fighting for a parking spot every   single    day.  No more roommates moving in and out, rent cheques needing to be written or received, other people's dishes and other people's spoiled food.  No more late nights spent thinking up ways to passive aggressively get someone to hang the toilet paper facing the right way.  Finally I won't have to sneak into anyone's bedroom and sit by the head of their bed, thinking how easily I could remedy that "never empties the dishwasher" problem permanently.  No I'm not looking forward with glee to driveway shoveling,  lawn maintenance or property taxes, but at least it will be my lawn, my driveway and my property. Plus I stay out of prison.



So the packing is almost finished and in a couple of days  I'm going to call on my friends, exhausted though they may be from the 4 other moves in the last couple years, and I'll bribe them with the usual pizza and beer for some heavy lifting.  They say a friend will help you move, and a true friend will help you move a body.  They might be calling one another to dispose of mine if this location doesn't stick.